5.03.2008

Guns = Freedom (and FUN!)

First check this episode of Americana on http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=607689676 out. It's about a gun shop in Pearl River, New York:




Did you see it?

...

"I also like to carry a Glock 9mm, this is more of your everday gun..."
...

Seriously?

Everyday gun? Instructor Adam talks about gun convenience and utility like iPhones. Actually, Apple products are far less complicated. They don't have many options, so choosing is easy, like at the In-N-Out drive-thru. Guns, however, come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Adam continues to describe the shotgun as "the most effective home weapon on the planet". He disclosed that he casually likes to leave one "lying around" his house. Other guns can take out 18-wheel trucks driving at you, large men, ethnic men, homosexuals, liberals, vegans, terrorists, or any other threat to W.A.S.P. American culture. As a matter of fact, shop owner, Ziggy (that's right, Ziggy), said that his 50 caliber hand gun can shoot down dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs.

First terrorists, then the neo-hippies, and now DINOSAURS!?! America is under serious threat people.
Charlton Heston (may he rest in peace) has left us at our darkest hour. Who will unite the NRA? Who will defend us?

I certainly hope it's not that little chubby kid with a lisp in the video. Aside from already being a total nerd, the kid has the hots for the gunpowder. That's a big no in modern urban culture (I'm pretty savvy here, see
Paris BFF blog).

Don't get me wrong, I like America a lot more than your average. I-just-got-back-from-a-semester-at-la-Sorbonne-in-Paris-college-student. I think it's a great country. Chances are someone from my country can kick someone from another country's ass. On this note, I just can't get my mind around the right to bear arms thing.
I was on vacation in Sweden last year when the tragedy at V-Tech happened. When people found out I was American, they seemed a little taken back like I was going to hurt them or like I was some sort of beast. You would think that after WWII America would figure that we aren't going to be attacked. Our countrymen will not have to form a neo-minuteman militia.

Guns have always been a hot topic in the States.
Personally, I don't like them. I think they're silly. It's like smoking. It's bad for you, rude, smelly, and makes other people bitch a lot... but at least smoking makes you look cool.
Fact.

Guns don't make you look cool. That little fat lisp kid isn't gonna start chat with a hipster chick on the smoking patio of Club Bang using gun talk. That's negative game. You can't even bring guns into clubs. Stick with smoking, kids.

Adam and Ziggy did make guns seem like a lot of fun. I mean, they've been loadin on bin Laden. They're two nice guys that are really into what they're into. Ziggy buys his wife an Elvis gun, I buy my girlfriend avocados. I guess when I think about it, guns give me the freedom to buy my girlfriend avocados. I can't complain. Thanks guns. Thuns.

In summary, I conclude that smoking is cool, shotguns are handy, dinosaurs are dicks, and guns are saving my relationship.

Here is a list of gun-related links so you can study and come to your own conclusion about how guns affect your life:

National Rifle Association

Guns and Fun Forum

Wiki: 2nd Amendment

Idiots with Guns Blog

International Homicide Comparisons


-jc del barco ii

ex-smoker/ex-cool/afraid of dinosaurs and (or with) guns.


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